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05 December 2008 @ 09:28 am
Coming Of Age - Part Five  

Title: Coming Of Age – Part Five - Confessions
Author: foreverbm
Timeline: Two years post season 5
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Family
Rating: PG
Words: 1652
Beta: jule1122
A/N: This is part five of my Coming Of Age – Hunter and Amanda’s Story.
Comments and feedback is appreciated.

Part One – Explanations

Part Two - Discussions

Part Three - Meetings

Part Four - Conversations


Michael was sitting at the table when I walked downstairs in the morning. I’d heard Ben coughing during the night, and Michael walking across the landing between the spare room and theirs on a regular basis. He looked up when I walked in the room, and I could tell he hadn’t slept much.

“How’s Ben?” I asked pouring myself a juice.

“Sleeping. He didn’t have a good night.” Michael replied. “I’ve called the school to say he won’t be in, and if he’s no better when he wakes up, I’m taking him to the doctor.”

“He’ll be okay.” I replied trying to ease some of Michael’s worries. “But call me later?”

“Sure.” Michael replied, but I could tell his mind was elsewhere.

I try to imagine what it’s like for him, having a husband and son who are positive. He’s not good at hiding his emotions, and I’ve caught him watching Ben with a haunted look in his eyes on more than one occasion. I honestly wonder how he would cope if he lost him.

I know he worries about me as well, but so far I’ve been healthy. I just keep popping those pills and try to forget all about it. Until now that is. Now it’s the most important thing in my life. How do you tell the girl you love that you have something inside of you that will impact so many parts of your life? How will she react? Disgusted, scared or sympathetic until she learns how I got it. Will she be understanding and concerned until she actually thinks about it, and then realizes what our lives would be like.

Michael’s voice brings me back to the present, and I concentrate, glad to push those thoughts from my head.

“You seeing Amanda today?” He asked.

“Yeah. She doesn’t have classes this afternoon so we’re meeting for lunch.”

”You’ve got classes haven’t you?”

I shrugged. “Yeah but…..”

“Hunter, cutting classes is not good.”

“I know, and I promise I’ll make them up.” I replied. “I don’t want to talk to her here, especially with Ben sick and of course there’s no fucking way I’m going to her place with her bitch of a mother there.”

I could see Michael thinking about this and eventually he nodded.

“Okay, as long as you make up the classes.” He replied. “And Hunter….”


“Good luck.” Michael stood, wrapping his arms around me, giving me a tight hug. “I know how tough this will be for you, and no matter what the outcome, you are doing the right thing.”

I pulled away and looked at him the concern in his eyes clear to see.

“I’ll be okay.” I answered not wanting to burden him with any more worries at the moment. “Have to go now….don’t forget to call me about Ben. and try not to worry too much about him okay.”

A small smile crossed his face, but he wasn’t fooling me. He wouldn’t stop worrying about either of us, and I felt an enormous amount of love for him. He and Ben had shown me that no matter what obstacles were put in your way, that if you loved each other, everything could be overcome. I held onto that thought as I grabbed my bag and walked out the door.

The morning classes dragged, and I was grateful when they let us out. I left the classroom quickly and headed off to meet Amanda.

She was waiting for me in our usual meeting place, a wide smile crossing her face as she bounded up to me, slipping her hand into mine. I pulled her to me, hugging her tightly.

“How’s your Dad this morning?” She asked as we found a shady place and dropped to the ground.


“Last night…remember…Michael said he wasn’t well.”

I realized then that I hadn’t heard from Michael and made a mental note to call him. I just hoped it didn’t mean Ben had gotten worse. “He was asleep when I left this morning. Michael’s taking him to the doctor if he wasn’t any better when he woke up.”

“I’m sorry.” She replied. “Is he…..I mean it’s none of my business…but you said something about his meds……”

The look on her face told me she was more concerned than just being nosy, and I wondered if Ben would mind if I used him to start this confession of mine. Somehow I didn’t think he would.

“Have you heard of HIV?” I asked.

“Of course.” She replied, a frown crossing her face. “You mean that Ben is…”

“HIV positive?” I replied, watching her face for a reaction.

She sat quietly for a minute before looking at me.

“That’s awful. Does Michael have it to?”

“No he’s negative.”

I could tell she was thinking about this and she finally spoke.

“I can’t imagine how he handles that.”

“He takes meds every day, and he’s also into yoga and meditation, which he says helps.”

“No, I meant Michael. I mean I’ve only met your Dads a couple of times, but I can see how much they love each other, it must be so hard for him.”

I couldn’t believe her words, that thinking about Michael was her first thought, and I had a glimmer of hope that things might not be as bad as I thought when I told her.

“He worries. A lot!” I replied. “Not long after they met, Ben got pancreatitis and almost died. Ever since then Michael fusses, which drives Ben insane, but he puts up with it.”

“I’m not surprised. I just can’t imagine how hard it is for both of them. I mean I don’t know a lot about it except what we learnt in Sex Education but I guess living with something like that would be a real test in any relationship.”

“I have it too!” I blurted out and jumped to my feet looking down at her. Her eyes were full of confusion, and I started to walk away not waiting for her response.

“Hunter, wait!” I heard her call out, but I kept walking.

“HUNTER!” She all but screamed, and I turned around. She stopped in front of me.

“Why did you walk away?” She asked; a catch in her voice.

I shrugged not trusting myself to speak.

“We need to talk.” She said, reaching for my hand and pulling me the ground.

“How did you get it?” She asked quietly.

I looked at her and wondered if I could really tell her. I didn’t think she was naïve exactly, but I knew the world I had once lived in was something she would know nothing about. But as I told Michael, she deserved the truth.

“You remember I told you about my bitch of a mother….”

“We both seem to have problems with our bitch mothers” She said sadly, moving closer to me.

“Your mother would win Mother Of The Year compared to mine.” I answered, and she must have picked up the anger in my voice because she took my hand, squeezing it tightly.

“Tell me Hunter.”

I hesitated, wondering if I could find the right words.

“When I was growing up, she was always drunk or drugged. We lived on welfare, and she ‘entertained’ all these guys to make extra money. Then she said I had to start contributing to the household.”

”She made you sell drugs?”

“No.” I replied, wishing it had been as easy as that. “She…..she brought these men to our apartment and made me….”

I moved away from her slightly, as if my words would some how make her feel dirty, but she pulled me back towards her.

“Hunter you can tell me.” She said quietly, her eyes watching me closely

“She made me do things to them and let them do things to me.”

“You mean have sex with them?”

I dropped my head not wanting to see the disgust in her eyes, but she lifted my chin, and I met her eyes, and I could see that they were full of pain.


“How old were you?”

“Thirteen.” I answered, then decided I may as well get the rest out before my courage deserted me. “I ran away a year later, but got caught sleeping on the street one night and ended up in a foster home. It was almost as bad as living with her so I took off and ended up on Liberty Avenue.”

“How could a mother do that?” She asked shaking her head, and I could see her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

“You don’t know my mother.” I replied, and if I have my way you never will I thought to myself.

“You told me you lived on the streets, how did you support yourself?” She asked, but I could tell by the way she looked at me she knew what the answer would be.

“I hustled.” I answered.

“And that’s how you got it?”

“Must have been. Guess I’ll never know for sure.”

I saw her shiver as the sun disappeared behind a cloud, and I took my jacket off, wrapping it around her shoulders. She gave me a small smile and I felt a bit more confident, and decided it was time to tell her the rest.

“There’s other things you need to know.” I said hesitantly.

“Like what?” She asked, that confused look on her face again.

“You need to know that……” I began only to be interrupted by the ringing of my cell.

I gave her an apologetic look and flicked it open, seeing Michael’s name on the caller ID.


I knew immediately from the sound of Michael’s voice that something was wrong.

“Is Ben ok?” I asked, and I could hear the shake in my voice.

“He’s in the hospital. I’m there now, can you come please.”
( Post a new comment )
shadownyc: foreverbm - Huntershadownyc on December 5th, 2008 12:43 am (UTC)
OH NO!!! Trouble all around. I hope you don't make us wait too long for the next chapter.
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Michael Owns Me: BenMParkforeverbm on December 5th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
I hope to have the next chapter up sometime over the weekend :)
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sjmpetssjmpets on December 5th, 2008 01:13 am (UTC)
i don't think she'll reject him, shell respect him. for telling her the truth. she'll be there for him while ben's in the hospital.

even with the surprising news of ben being in the hospital, this was a wonderful chapter. hunter just have to give her a change.
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Michael Owns Me: BestDayEverforeverbm on December 5th, 2008 10:34 pm (UTC)
Thank you very much &hearts
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secretsolitairesecretsolitaire on December 5th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
Aaaah! What a moment to interrupt! *waits impatiently for the next chapter*
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Michael Owns Me: hunterforeverbm on December 5th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
*writes next chapter quickly for you* :)
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QAFanqafan on December 5th, 2008 06:20 am (UTC)
CRAP Viv, this is great. I'm eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
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Michael Owns Me: LoveKitchenforeverbm on December 5th, 2008 10:35 pm (UTC)
Thank you :)

Will do my best to get it written over the weekend :)
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Val: Supernatural - Carry On My Wayward Sonz3nyatta on December 5th, 2008 07:02 am (UTC)
oh no :( *tear*
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Michael Owns Me: MichaelHunterforeverbm on December 5th, 2008 10:36 pm (UTC)
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pinkfrictionpinkfriction on December 5th, 2008 11:05 pm (UTC)
Oh no, Ben.

I'm glad Amanda seems to be understanding.

Great job darling.
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kata_ny on December 5th, 2008 11:17 pm (UTC)
teh cliffhanger.
however i think Amanda is going to be great.
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tigerstriped86tigerstriped86 on December 5th, 2008 11:41 pm (UTC)
This was not a bright, happy, sunshiney chapter-and yet, life rarely is.

I'm trying to collect my thoughts and I'm beginning to wonder if you haven't given Amanda the same feelings that Hunter has for her. Is she going to have an internal struggle against Hunter's HIV positive nature while trying to be reassuring? I'll tell you-I like her a far sight more than Callie.

As for Ben, nien! Nothing can be wrong with my...oops, I mean... Michael's husband. That's just not okay.

Once again, fabulous chapter and I look forward to moments when Amanda and Hunter can react to each other and the boys.
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